Saturday, January 22

Why my dog is cooler than your dog

  • When I gave her 2 leftover baked potatoes for breakfast because I was out of dog food, she not only had no malice towards me for being an incompetent owner, but she loved those potatoes with all her heart.
  • By loved, I mean she tried to bury them in her bed because she likes to save the best treats for later. When she was unsuccessful in getting them both covered at the same time, she didn't bite me when I kept trying to steal one of the them just to torment her.
  • When tormented, she can eat a whole baked potato in two bites.
  • She didn't even try and eat the puppy in the pet store - despite the fact that it was smaller than a baked potato, had similar colouring and was being held at teeth level.
  • When I left her for 4 hours last night to go out with friends, she wasn't angry or bitter when I returned, but rather was so thrilled to see me, she spent the next 30 minutes trying to figure out a way to sit on my lap. Even when I wasn't sitting.
  • When I give her a treat, and ask her to say "please", she does.
  • She provides enough entertainment on a daily basis to my co-workers that all 95 lbs of her continues to be allowed to go to work with me - despite the unfortunate poop incident on the really stormy day and the shedding, which is beyond all imaginable shedding.
  • She loves everyone at work, including all our visitors, except the creepy guy who makes me feel horribly uncomfortable. Him - she doesn't let in my office.
  • She puts up with the rowdiness of the 20-25 kids that invade her "office" every day. She lets them sit on her bed beside her when they are sad and need a friend.
  • She runs to the window every time I say "Kitty", even if she's in a dead sleep. There is rarely a kitty outside, but she never resents me for laughing at her.
  • She likes to play with the cats upstairs even though she has never seen them. When they get rowdy, she barks and runs around too, because she thinks she can play with them through the floor. When that riles them up even more, she runs and jumps on the bed, as if she is trying to get as high up as possible, in hopes of actually finding them.
  • She loves whole carrots. If I ask her if she wants a carrot, she'll run to the fridge. When I open it, she tries to stuff her head into the vegetable crisper. When I give her the carrot, she bounds off with unabashed joy.
  • When she needs to go out, she lies down at the door and waits patiently, with her head on the floor sniffing the outside air coming in the gap, as if she is an addict waiting for a fix. She'll do this for as long as it takes - for example, as long as it takes me to write how cool she is.
  • She never mocks me that I'm completely obsessed with lists.


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