Saturday, February 5

To my fellow morning shoppers

  • I like to laugh at you when you circle the parking lot ad nauseam looking for the perfect parking spot. I usually laugh because I know that by going straight to a parking spot a few rows over, I will not only beat you into the store, but I get lots of extra exercise. This morning I laughed because as I was driving to those further rows, the closest non-handicap parking spot opened up and I TOOK IT! Was that you still waiting for my spot as I backed out 20 minutes later???
  • When I am standing in an aisle and I step back to let you pass by, please understand that I am standing there because I am actually perusing the items on the nearest shelves. It is not so helpful for you to stop, with your cart, directly in front of me and take your time looking at those same items. You’re blocking my view and I was here first. That popcorn is mine – all mine.
  • When you are shopping with your family, which includes an overflowing grocery cart, a mucky toddler in a stroller and pre-schooler enamored with samples, please try to avoid walking side by side by side and taking up the entire aisle. If you can think of no alternatives to the side by side by side walking, perhaps you could at least make room for someone else to pass – at least once the say excuse me – at least before they have to say it a fourth time.
  • If you drive in such a way that you block an entire intersection while you are turning, feel free to keep going, even if you think I have the right away when I don't. It's not that I'm trying to be rude and difficult, it just that it's hard for me to actually go, since, you know, you are BLOCKING the intersection and all.
  • Thank you to the one shopper who said “excuse me” to me, instead of just pushing past me. Thank you for making the ratio of “excuse me”s said to “excuse me”s received 34523:1.

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